Sensory Integration and Our Son...

I remember the day I took Jackson to our family practice doctor and explained all of the behaviors he was exhibiting in school. After a lot of talking (45 minutes and Jackson hadn't even fidgeted once!), he asked me what I wanted for my son. In my head, I honestly didn't know what we were dealing with - whether it was Sensory Integration (SI) or fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS) or reactive attachment disorder (RAD), autism or if he was just behind, developmentally - which of course he was -he was institutionalized for 2 years of critical brain developing years!

So, I asked our family physician for a referral to a pediatric occupational therapist as a result of my research and learning that occupational therapy (OT) was the most effective treatment for children with SI. And, there you have it! We've completed a sensory profile of Jackson and had the results interpreted....and, my gut instincts were pretty much spot on. Jackson has delays in most areas and exhibits almost all behavioral and emotional reactions as a result of not being able to process the information that his senses are giving him. A mother's instinct is always right!!! We are waiting an appointment to begin intense OT sessions - which I think he will thrive from and help him to understand.

We've been able to forward this sensory evaluation to his teacher and the OT through the school system to offer advice and suggestions to help him adapt at school. They've implemented little things: routine, taking him to the library when there is a lot of chaos in the room, reminding him that the bell will be ringing soon, accepting that it's okay if he doesn't "sit" down like all of the other children during circle, and giving him hugs to reassure him, even when he's mad. And, well, they've seen a significant change! Granted, he's not the traditional, well-behaved 6 year old, but I wouldn't want him to be!

So, if your child is acting out at school or wherever it may be, you may want to look up the signs of SI online and visit with your doctor and school! I'll continue to update you on what we learn through OT.

Research....research....research

I'll never forget leaving that first SAT meeting and thinking that the teachers were asking for help and I needed to do everything I could to educate myself and then share that information with them.

So, I started by calling our adoption agency to see if they had heard of similar challenges from orphans from Russia. Our social worker was very nice and referenced their own children and how they had been able to help them. However, I didn't really feel like the challenges we were dealing with was anywhere near what the school was seeing. Everything was so....vague. I asked if they had received calls from other families - and the answer....no. Next, I called the adoption agency who did our home study. The social worker there who has met Jackson was very, very nice and reassuring. She referred me to one of her staff to visit with me about attachment disorder. I kept saying, "he doesn't have difficulty with attachment otherwise he would have never attached to us NOR his new brother and sister." And, so, with that, I waited for the return phone call. And waited....and waited......

After many nights of tears, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I began researching the following terms: orphans, institutionalization, autism, sensory integration, reactive attachment disorder and even fetal alcohol disorder.

The more I read about some of the disorders, I thought that maybe Jackson had a few symptoms of several of them. However, the one that really stuck out for me was sensory integration disorder. I'll blog more about this later. It was clear to me from what I read that Jackson had every behavioral and emotional reaction to not being able to cope with sensory input. Further, it was very common for children who had been institutionalized to have this diagnosis. And, in my head, it made a lot of sense - after all, we had limited the environments he was in for the past 4 years. Where did he thrive? Small groups, in-home, quiet, etc. Where was he known as the "naughty child"? School settings where he couldn't process the information.

YEAH - we were finally onto something!

Jackson's First Few Weeks of Kindergarten

It's the start of the school year and our little guy is so excited to ride the big yellow school bus to Kindergarten! Off he goes and I sit buy and cry! I can't believe he's grown so fast...where did the past 4 years go? In my mind, it was just like it was last week when we were in Russia.

From the very start, I started receiving phone calls and visiting with his teacher about her concerns. She was seeing significant behaviors that had begun to affect the classroom. Here's what was going with Jackson: difficulty sitting in the bus and not standing on the seat; not able to be redirected when they asked him to stop doing something (like kicking the seat); not sitting in the circle; kicking chairs; head banging and head butting the teacher; swearing; full-out temper tantrums; angry voice; striking out at peers; refusing to write; etc. I remember sitting in our first SAT school meeting in mid-September and was heartbroken. Here was my son - the child who has overcome so much in his short life - being, again described as a monster. We were not seeing behaviors of this magnitude at home nor at day care. So, suddenly, I began realizing that the school environment was triggering something for him - look at preschool and now Kindergarten. Again, diagnoses were thrown out: autism, attachment disorder, ADD, etc.

So, as a parent of the only internationally adopted child within our district at this time, it became my crusade to educate myself. Over the next few weeks, I've done so much research on orphans who spent time in orphanages and the impact that has had in their transition to school.

As time goes by, I'll update you on what has worked, what hasn't, and resources that we have found helpful.

A Pattern Begins...

A year ago, we enrolled Jackson in a full-time preschool as we knew he needed a lot of structure, routine and more intense education than some of his peers where we lived. Initially, the teachers would tell us that he was such a good little boy. And, as you can imagine - we were THRILLED! Then, a few months passed and we were now hearing things like - "We're concerned about your son." When I asked what that meant - they threw out words like: autism, reactive attachment disorder, sociopath, ADD or ADHD. I was stunned - and speechless! They would describe this very, very angry little boy...which was the opposite of who we saw 90% of the time at home. (Don't get me wrong, he has his days!)

Some of the behaviors they referenced seeing were: head banging, full body temper tantrums, swearing, hitting himself, short attention span, kicking chairs, and not following directions. In addition, he had no desire to sit still in the circle nor did he have any interest in learning how to write. He could recognize his name and was beginning to recognize the alphabet, but he still had no interest in writing letters or coloring (besides all out scribbling). The teachers would report that the only thing that seemed to calm him down was removing him from the room and placing him with the 2 year olds and a book.

So, after only 6 months, we decided to remove him from this setting as it was only reinforcing negative behavior. We placed him in a new in-home daycare, where he again began to thrive.

Realizing Something Wasn't Quite Right

The next several years went by so quickly....Jackson went from not
speaking at all to being our little social butterfly! He's gone from
not attaching to any particular "toy" to his favoriteflinstone toy car
(or at least that's what we call it!). He shows a lot of emotion and is
the most loving little boy we've ever met...okay, we're biased!

A year ago, we decided to remove him from his in-home daycare to start a
full-time preschool in a larger city where we live. I remember being so
scared taking him there. The teacher probably thought I was a paranoid
mother as I spent a lot of time educating her and the director about
Jackson's background. I also pointed out that developmentally he was
behind his peers - and that was okay with us. Again, we stressed that
you could not compare him to his peers - he didn't have the same
upbringing. After all, he was institutionalized until age 2.

At first, I heard the greatest reports from the teacher when I would pick
him up. While he didn't have an interest in writing anything, he was
learning his ABC's and could recognize his name within only a few short
months...we were thrilled!!!! Then, the call came. I'll never forget
it. The Director of the Preschool had concerns about our son - he
wasn't standing in line, he would throw temper tantrums, kick chairs,
scream, say naughty words, and bang his head against the floor or wall.
While we had seen these behaviors at home, they were infrequent and
very manageable. In fact, I remember describing them to the preschool
teacher as behaviors of a 2 or 3 year old who doesn't get their way.
After all, Jackson was only 4 and so, because of his delays, he was
behaving like a 2 or 3 year old.

Things continued to get worse in the school setting. We took him to both our family practice docto
and pediatrician - both who said that there was nothing medically wrong with him that would cause him to act out. The pediatrician recommended a psychiatrist. Now, with all due respect and probably a part of our journey, I wasn't ready to see a psychiatrist who may spend an hour
with my son and prescribe a pill. I spent weeks researching regional specialists who may spend time treating children who were adopted from overseas. But, no luck. So, after a few more months, we removed him from preschool and placed him into another in-home daycare.

Time passed and we would ask the daycare provider if she was seeing the same
signs that the preschool reported. She mentioned thatoccassionally, Jackson would have "bad days" - like other children and they would consist of the temper tantrums, bad words, etc. But, then either with redirection, time out or ignoring the behavior, he would settle down.

So, here we were...parents who wanted so desparately to help our youngest son, but yet were confused as we didn't see the same magnitude of behaviors the preschool saw. In all honesty, we just blamed it onoverstimulation in the classroom and too many children. We would wait until fall to see how he responded to kindergarten - which consisted of a much smaller class size than his preschool.

Our Journey to Parenthood

Our journey to parenthood began 5 years ago when we began the process to adopt our son from Russia. It was an amazing and memorable experience - one which we won't ever forget!

We met our youngest son, Jackson, 4 years ago in a little orphanage outside of Moscow, Russia. The day that we've waited for our entire lives finally changed in the blink of an eye. Here we were, in a foreign country, surrounded by orphanage staff and our translator, when we heard, "clunk, clunk, clunk" coming down the long hallway. In walks this little boy, with his eyes covered. He was the most beautiful child I had ever seen - and we knew that God had finally blessed us with our little miracle. Our translator whisked him up into her arms, showed him a mirror and whispered sweet Russian words to him. Then, slowly, his little hands came down from his eyes and revealed the most beautiful brown eyes ever! Our translator looked at him and then said, "Meet Mama." and handed him to me. I'll never forget it.

Jackson officially became a member of our family a few short weeks later - and, well the rest has been history. He is the sweetest little boy who has touched so many lives. I've learned over the past 4 years that my role as Jackson's mother is to educate others about the joys of international adoption. It has also become my personal mission to advocate for my son - whether it's in a new daycare setting, Sunday School or the school system. I'm hoping that this sight is helpful to other parents as they look for resources for their children.

Why Am I Blogging?

Hello! This is my first attempt at trying out the world of "blogging". I'm fairly new to this concept, but have recently been on-line searching for information in order to help my children. After much research, advocacy and frustration, I realized that what I've learned over the past few years might be helpful to another parent...hence, the creation of my blogspot. I hope you find it helpful.