So, I just realized it's been over 2 years since I've been online and so many wonderful things have happened. What I've learned over the past 2 years is the importance of faith in my life...and trusting God's plan. If I sit quietly enough, then He will guide us...and that's EXACTLY what has happened.
Jackson (our little guy from Russia) turned 8 and is doing so well! He started 2nd grade this year - and with the right academic and therapeutic support continues to amaze us. The past 2 years, he's had amazing teachers who have also believed in him and made him feel so special. For all of you fellow mothers - the only advice I have is to trust your gut...you know what's best for your child and if we wait for others to intervene, you'll be waiting a very long time.
I've decided that sometime in my life my goal is to help other families struggle with what we've been through....it's the least I can do. And, looking back, I wouldn't change a thing. I'm so blessed to have 3 amazing children...and God continues to remind each and every day.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Sunday, September 20, 2009
A New Beginning
After a long spring and a long summer of summer school for our little J, we decided to keep him in Kindergarten one more year. Something in my gut was just saying "a little more time" was what was best for J. So, on August 19th, I packed him up and dropped him off at the bus stop. I don't think I've ever prayed so hard for J to have a good day....and not a repeat of last year. Day 1 passed....then Day 2.....and I thought why haven't we heard from his new teacher? What's happening in the classroom? Prior to the school year, we had advocated for J to increase the amount of time in the Special Ed. classroom as there would not be an aide in the regular room this year. And, it worried us.
So, a week passes and I get a note from his teacher indicating things were going well. I couldn't believe it. I thought, what does well mean? And, who is defining it? I remember it was only a few months ago where we were dealing with tantrums, kicking chairs, acting out, refusing to write, and other behaviors. How, in over the course of a couple of months, had things changed?
Well, it's been about 5 weeks of the school year thus far....and while we are still cautious, things are going AMAZINGLY well! J is writing his name, doing his homework, sitting in the circle, sitting in his desk, standing in line and even carrying his tray in the lunchroom! Who is this child? His teacher has been very patient and has also been surprised at how well he's doing. Granted, he is still behind, which we expected -but he can finally function in a school. YAHOO!!!! Thank God for very small miracles - and blessings.....
So, a week passes and I get a note from his teacher indicating things were going well. I couldn't believe it. I thought, what does well mean? And, who is defining it? I remember it was only a few months ago where we were dealing with tantrums, kicking chairs, acting out, refusing to write, and other behaviors. How, in over the course of a couple of months, had things changed?
Well, it's been about 5 weeks of the school year thus far....and while we are still cautious, things are going AMAZINGLY well! J is writing his name, doing his homework, sitting in the circle, sitting in his desk, standing in line and even carrying his tray in the lunchroom! Who is this child? His teacher has been very patient and has also been surprised at how well he's doing. Granted, he is still behind, which we expected -but he can finally function in a school. YAHOO!!!! Thank God for very small miracles - and blessings.....
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
The Struggle between working and not....
The past month has been an eye-awakening experience for me. As a professional working woman, I've always taken great pride in my accomplishments and loved what I do. Don't get me wrong - I still love it...but, lately, there's this little inner voice that continues to get louder about staying home or at least flexing my schedule.
Last month, our sitter was off for about 2 weeks due to illness. So, thankfully, I was able to flex my schedule so I was able to drop off my kids at school and then pick them up in the afternoon. For the first time in 2 years, I realized something was new....peace. I recognized immediately how my children were thriving and we were actually able to play during the week - versus the mad dash of homework, showers, dinner, and the bedtime routine during the school week. After the 2 weeks, I have to admit that I longed for that time to return but just didn't know how to make it happen. And, again, I love what I do for a living -so those moments were put on the back burner.
Well, today, I think God might be sending me a wake-up call. Have you ever had one? I'm driving in a rural area where I work and all of the sudden I hear this radio program that addresses the working mom. I'll never forget that moment....the talk show host says, "Have you ever seen the mother who is picking up her children from daycare and the children are jumping on her and jumping up and down? What does she do? She tells them to be quiet and get moving." Hmmmm.....boy, that sounded awfully familiar to me. Not every day, but it seems like we are always in a hurry. The talk show host had definitely gotten my attention.
She further went on to describe that it wasn't the working mother's fault - it was just that she had given so much all day at the office and was already thinking about the 100 things she had to do at home before getting the kids off to bed...and, then collapsing at the end of the night. Hmmmm....again, that sounded way to familiar. Unfortunately, the radio show didn't offer any answers....but I got the message. We only have 1 chance to raise our children in our lifetime. 1 chance....1 chance to tell them how much we love them....1 chance to cuddle up at night....1 chance to die Easter eggs while it's still fun....and 1 chance to build up their confidence so that they can succeed in whatever they try. Well, God, I heard you today.
If you, like me, have to work or choose to work while you are raising your children...make sure you cherish every moment that you have with them. Before we know it - they'll be grown up.
Last month, our sitter was off for about 2 weeks due to illness. So, thankfully, I was able to flex my schedule so I was able to drop off my kids at school and then pick them up in the afternoon. For the first time in 2 years, I realized something was new....peace. I recognized immediately how my children were thriving and we were actually able to play during the week - versus the mad dash of homework, showers, dinner, and the bedtime routine during the school week. After the 2 weeks, I have to admit that I longed for that time to return but just didn't know how to make it happen. And, again, I love what I do for a living -so those moments were put on the back burner.
Well, today, I think God might be sending me a wake-up call. Have you ever had one? I'm driving in a rural area where I work and all of the sudden I hear this radio program that addresses the working mom. I'll never forget that moment....the talk show host says, "Have you ever seen the mother who is picking up her children from daycare and the children are jumping on her and jumping up and down? What does she do? She tells them to be quiet and get moving." Hmmmm.....boy, that sounded awfully familiar to me. Not every day, but it seems like we are always in a hurry. The talk show host had definitely gotten my attention.
She further went on to describe that it wasn't the working mother's fault - it was just that she had given so much all day at the office and was already thinking about the 100 things she had to do at home before getting the kids off to bed...and, then collapsing at the end of the night. Hmmmm....again, that sounded way to familiar. Unfortunately, the radio show didn't offer any answers....but I got the message. We only have 1 chance to raise our children in our lifetime. 1 chance....1 chance to tell them how much we love them....1 chance to cuddle up at night....1 chance to die Easter eggs while it's still fun....and 1 chance to build up their confidence so that they can succeed in whatever they try. Well, God, I heard you today.
If you, like me, have to work or choose to work while you are raising your children...make sure you cherish every moment that you have with them. Before we know it - they'll be grown up.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
What an AWESOME place
So, here we were in March...ready to tackle one more doctor's visit for Jackson, our little guy from Russia. I didn't have too high of hopes since every time I had, I left feeling completely deflated.
The minute we walked into the 1960's furnished office, I knew something was different. After all, this doctor was the competitor of the physician we saw in January. Right away, Jackson was greeted and talked to as a person. Then, we met the doctor....and I was impressed!
Dr. N. walked into the room and introduced himself to Jackson and to me. He had obviously done his homework prior to walking into the room as he knew all about Jackson's history, had read the teacher reports (completed in September and February) and was ready to answer any question I had. WOW! Who is he? We spoke for a long time while Jackson played with toys and then I watched as this 50 something dr. got down on his knees and then laid down on the floor to begin playing. What - who DOES THAT?
He proceeded with giving Jackson 5 developmental tests that I'll write more about in another blog....
The minute we walked into the 1960's furnished office, I knew something was different. After all, this doctor was the competitor of the physician we saw in January. Right away, Jackson was greeted and talked to as a person. Then, we met the doctor....and I was impressed!
Dr. N. walked into the room and introduced himself to Jackson and to me. He had obviously done his homework prior to walking into the room as he knew all about Jackson's history, had read the teacher reports (completed in September and February) and was ready to answer any question I had. WOW! Who is he? We spoke for a long time while Jackson played with toys and then I watched as this 50 something dr. got down on his knees and then laid down on the floor to begin playing. What - who DOES THAT?
He proceeded with giving Jackson 5 developmental tests that I'll write more about in another blog....
Round 2....
I've written much about our youngest son and first adopted child, Jackson....well, this past May, we adopted 2 additional children (ages: 6 and 8). They are great kids and we're truly blessed. Our oldest son has ADHD, combined type. So, I've learned a lot about parenting styles, effective rewards systems, and power of faith as he has tested us over and over and over again. In the coming posts, I'll share more of our experiences and how we finally were able to help him excel. Today, he's doing so great!
When we first met our daughter (who is the bio sibling of our oldest child), she was the responsible child - even at age 4! We could tell immediately the difference between boys and girls. And, thankfully, she was a child that we could count on to help; to follow through and to teach. She's in first grade and has done pretty well overall.
In November of this year, we noticed that she was having a harder time finishing her homework. We actually began thinking she may be a little "airheaded" and not as level-headed as we once thought. Her teacher also would describe this "out-of-control" child in school, unable to focus, always interupting, and tattling on others. Well, we were STUNNED! This was not our daughter - sure, she was a little spacey at times, but nothing to serious.
Well one day, she came home and had cut her shoestrings at school....I know, it sounds like not a big deal...but this is a replay of something we deal with every year with her older brother. I picked up the phone and called a local pediatrician who specializes in treating children with ADHD and ADD. And, off we went.
We left his office with medication and doubt....I really didn't think this was what was going on, but thought I would give it a try and prove everyone wrong. Well, I was the one that was wrong. Within 2 days, we could see an immediate difference in our little girl. The "responsible" child was back! And, thank heavens! We learned that she has ADHD - Inattentive Type (formerly known as ADD) which usually doesn't show the behavioral issues of the child with ADHD combined type.
When we first met our daughter (who is the bio sibling of our oldest child), she was the responsible child - even at age 4! We could tell immediately the difference between boys and girls. And, thankfully, she was a child that we could count on to help; to follow through and to teach. She's in first grade and has done pretty well overall.
In November of this year, we noticed that she was having a harder time finishing her homework. We actually began thinking she may be a little "airheaded" and not as level-headed as we once thought. Her teacher also would describe this "out-of-control" child in school, unable to focus, always interupting, and tattling on others. Well, we were STUNNED! This was not our daughter - sure, she was a little spacey at times, but nothing to serious.
Well one day, she came home and had cut her shoestrings at school....I know, it sounds like not a big deal...but this is a replay of something we deal with every year with her older brother. I picked up the phone and called a local pediatrician who specializes in treating children with ADHD and ADD. And, off we went.
We left his office with medication and doubt....I really didn't think this was what was going on, but thought I would give it a try and prove everyone wrong. Well, I was the one that was wrong. Within 2 days, we could see an immediate difference in our little girl. The "responsible" child was back! And, thank heavens! We learned that she has ADHD - Inattentive Type (formerly known as ADD) which usually doesn't show the behavioral issues of the child with ADHD combined type.
Disappointed in Doctors....
Sorry it's been so long since I've last posted in January! Well, the January appointment that we waited so patiently for was a complete waste of our time! The physician that we saw, why I'm sure she's very good and knows what she's doing, spent 45 minutes with us and had her eyes closed 40 minutes of that entire time! I couldn't believe it! Within 10 minutes, I knew we were in the wrong place.
She completed some very basic developmental screenings, had us complete a questionnaire on autistic signs, and then asked us some questions. Then, she spent the next 30 minutes talking in circles and not really asking or answering anything! I could tell our little boy - the one who LOVES doctors - was terrified of her. At the end of our visit, she mentioned that she was going to send the teacher a questionnaire to complete. I rattled off the name of the questionnaire as I had been through this with our oldest son before who has ADHD, combined type. She told me that Jackson had "internal control" issues and that medicine would help him.
Well, she spoke to the wrong mother! I asked her how could she medicate him when she didn't know if it was fetal alcohol syndrome, mental retardation, significant developmental delay, etc. Rather, it appeared, she was planning on medicating him for ADD or ADHD - both of which our family doctor and pediatrician did not think may be the result. So, needless to say....we were outta there and never looked back.
We have 1 more appointment scheduled in March - and I pray, oh do I pray, that we find someone who can help us help Jackson.
She completed some very basic developmental screenings, had us complete a questionnaire on autistic signs, and then asked us some questions. Then, she spent the next 30 minutes talking in circles and not really asking or answering anything! I could tell our little boy - the one who LOVES doctors - was terrified of her. At the end of our visit, she mentioned that she was going to send the teacher a questionnaire to complete. I rattled off the name of the questionnaire as I had been through this with our oldest son before who has ADHD, combined type. She told me that Jackson had "internal control" issues and that medicine would help him.
Well, she spoke to the wrong mother! I asked her how could she medicate him when she didn't know if it was fetal alcohol syndrome, mental retardation, significant developmental delay, etc. Rather, it appeared, she was planning on medicating him for ADD or ADHD - both of which our family doctor and pediatrician did not think may be the result. So, needless to say....we were outta there and never looked back.
We have 1 more appointment scheduled in March - and I pray, oh do I pray, that we find someone who can help us help Jackson.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
New Year....New Strategies
Happy New Year! I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written! Jackson has continued to progress behaviorally at school (thank heavens!). He's now able to sit in the classroom, sit in the reading circle during rainbow time, and even sit to participate in a lesson. Since his behavior is now "under control" we are now able to work on academics and have learned he's really behind, which is nothing new to us. So, he continues to work with his aide every day and also sees the resource room teacher and school OT and PT, which has continued to help.
We saw a specialist today in a town a few hours from our house - known as a developmental pediatrician and came highly recommended for children who were delayed. We have a friend whose son has autism and she really liked this physician. So, after 6 months of waiting for the appointment...our day FINALLY came.....I'll write more this week on what we learned - or didn't learn - and the importance of mother's intuition.
We saw a specialist today in a town a few hours from our house - known as a developmental pediatrician and came highly recommended for children who were delayed. We have a friend whose son has autism and she really liked this physician. So, after 6 months of waiting for the appointment...our day FINALLY came.....I'll write more this week on what we learned - or didn't learn - and the importance of mother's intuition.
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